Archive for June, 2009

I’m not Answering that question

June 25, 2009

If you are ever faced with a question, that you do not wish to answer, just lie about it. Don’t be a gentleman and say “I’m not answernig that question”, because you are actually giving away the answer by saying that.

Here are real life examples from the life of the DFT Engineer.

Friend: Dude, are you a virgin?
DFT Engineer: I’m not answering that…….
Friend: Oh, poor you…..

DFT Engineer: Were you cheating on me…
Ex-Gilrfriend : I’m not Answering that
DFT Engineer: Gun, poison anything sharp………. kill me

Advertisements

The Unusual Suspects

June 16, 2009

This blog article is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person or incident is purely intentional

Scene 1:
(H is in a glass room with a lot of Managers. They all want to know why 17 men died for what seemed like millions worth of silicon, that wasn’t there)

H: It all started 18 months ago in a round up. A really high profile design failed and we were all put there for debug.
Scene 2:
(V man, AV, Pants, Fanny and Bill walking in a line, H Enters the scene)

H(narrating in the background): It didn’t make sense that i would be there. I mean, these guys were hard core designers… yet, there I was

(Mugshots are taken and all of them are moved to a cell)

Scene 3:
V man: It doesn’t make sense… How many times have you been in a silicon debug, it is always you and a bunch of idiots. They don’t put guys like us together

AV: It’s all a setup. Silicon fails, management beats up the PE folks for answers and they come up with us.

(Fanny staring at V man, looking very intense)

Fanny: I thought you were dead……

Pants: You know what I heard. I heard you hung up your spurs. What’s that all about.
Pants (to everybody in the room): Rumor has it that V man, has decided to go clean. He’s going to be a manager. He’s even going to do a course on how to be one.. One of those high profile MBA things

(Bill turns to look at H, sitting silently in one corner)
Bill: What’s your story?

V man: He is a Perl coder. They call him H

H: About 2 years ago, me and a team of other Perl coders managed to con people into believing that a huge Perl automation could help them finish their designs faster. We called it the Sphinx design system.

Everybody: Yah, we heard about that

(Fanny stands up to make a speech)

Fanny: Anyways, now that we are all here.. I would like to talk about a job that I heard about.

(Everybody turn to Fanny. Fanny continues)
Fanny: There is guy, His name is Sake-Higghi. He runs the business all over the world, from his hideout in Japan. Rumor has it that he pays NRE. Not just that, he pays three times more than any other guy in the business. He has a big design coming up. Bigger than what anyone can imagine. He is looking for guys who can do the job for him.

And so they began on their epic journey, to finish this mammoth task. Sometime in the middle, Vman died (Actually, he went for his MBA, but we like telling people that Vman died).

To be Continued……..