Archive for September, 2009

Harry

September 18, 2009

We interrupt this series on the exciting life of Ingrads in America to bring you the story of a man, who was very different from all the other characters you have met on this blog.
Harry was a good kid. He didn’t drink, smoke, ogle at women, masturbate.. none of that nonsense. He went to college to become a great engineer, like his role model APC (If you don’t know APC, don’t bother to ask). He always topped the class in high school and never played any sports. He was a Geek and he was proud.

He met her for the first time in college. She was just like him in many ways, but still she was so different. She was also a geek and she was terrible at anything that involved physical labour. Her table tennis tales were legendary. She believed in experimenting. she wanted to try out cigarettes and booze. she wanted to live life on the edge. The things she never did. Everytime she was angry, she wanted to go out and break some rules. He was terrified and fascinated by her wild side. Her smile just left him speechless for days. People thought it was because of the internal exams that he was so silent, but now we know the truth.

He was hopelessly in love with her. There was nothing DFt or Ingrads could do to help him out. They just left him and walked away. “Did you see that chic in the blue dress”, said DFT on his way out. “Woh, She was awesome. Did you get a look at her face? I was busy tying my shoe laces”, said the undergrad Ingrads.

The girl in the blue dress was wearing a low rise jeans with a really short top the next day. Everyone other than Harry went to the cafeteria that day to check her out the next day. Ingrads missed a few classes and forgot to eat lunch. “I never knew that a girl’s waistline can be so arousing man. I think I am gonna quit engineering and go into photography”, said DFT.

In the mean time, Harry was sitting under a tree with “her” eating chocolate. They used to call that place the “Toblerone place” because they usually ate Toblerone there. It was a beautiful day and she was wearing a really nice blue and white Salwar. She looked beautiful as usual and he was madly in love with her. “I love you da, I really do”, she said. “Are you sure”, he asked. “I have never been so sure about anything.” she said. It was the beginning of a beautiful love story. One that would last long. Really really long.

Unfortunately, Harry shared a common trait with DFT and Ingrads. He had a tendency to get DUMPED. One beautiful Sunday moring, Harry got a call from “her”. “This isn’t working da. I wanna break up”, she said. Unlike DFT, who breaks into a laughter when a girl says this, Harry took it too seriously. He was always moody and he talked in really long sentences.

One day, Harry was outside sitting with Mikey. Mikey lit up a cigarette and offered it to Harry. “I don’t smoke”, Harry said. “Why not?” asked Mikey. ‘Because it is addictive. I’ll get hooked on to it and then I’ll just die of lung cancer’ said Harry. “Come on, remember what Mark Twain said.” said Mikey. For some strange reason, Mikey’s words made sense to Harry. He took a drag and he felt good. The second one made him feel really nice. This is awesome”, he said, when he took the third drag. He then went on to finish the whole cigarette and then the whole pack, he then bought a whole carton.

‘What is it with men and cigarettes’, she asked him one day. “I don’t know, i guess it makes life a much better place”, Harry replied. “You think we can be together again?’ he asked her. “Harry, that is not gonna happen again. I’m sorry put it so bluntly, but I cannot think of a better way to make it clear to you.” she said.

He left the room angry and disappointed. He didn’t see the truck coming towards him.

Ingrads was making out with a random girl he met in a Pub, when he heard the news. .

The truck driver was a really hot girl (I know a lot of you will say, that is Impossible. Well, I’m telling the story, so you just have to put up with it). She hit the brakes when she saw Harry walking aimlessly on the road. She got out of the truck to check on him and fell in love with him instantly. They made out in the back of the truck and then they got married.

Undergrad

September 7, 2009

He sat there thinking about her. He was still an Undergrad when he first met her. It was his freshman year and his second day of college. He was in the computer lab, waiting in queue. She stood behind him.
“Did you go to NCJ?”, she asked.
“Oh no, I went to Shadys, that one in NCJ was my evil twin. So if you see another guy like me and he is from NCJ, you better run”
She laughed at his joke and at that very instant, he was unconditionally, irrevocably in love with her.
“Hey, that line is a copy from Twilight”, said Ingrads.
“But you do feel that way about her, Don’t you?” I said.
“Isn’t it Plagiarism”, said Ingrads.
“You want me to write a blog about you or not. I have three draft versions of your travelogue, which you made me discard because it was either too embarrassing or demeaning. Besides, it isn’t plagiarism if you quote the original author.”
Also, the line in Twilight is “I am unconditionally, irrevocably in love with him” and Bella said that about Edmund. The gender is changed and it is also in second person. Screw you.

Okay. Back to the Story. You are unconditionally, irrevocably in love with her. What happens next?

” Well, I get dumped. Isn’t that how your blogs are supposed to end”, said Ingrads.

“Usually YES, but I wanted to give my readers a happy ending of sorts. Geeky guy gets the girl and beats up the bad guys and the girl’s parents and things like that.” I said.

“Beat up the girl’s parents? I would never do that’, said Ingrads. “Oh no, wait, that was my fantasy. Sorry”, I said.

“I don’t think a happy ending is possible dude. We were finished four years ago. It all started in early 2005, or was it late 2004. When did we elect Manmohan Singh as the Prime minister for the first time. I think it was 2005… no Wait not sure. So it was like a long time ago and I was being a real jerk and she was going through some trouble and ….”

(To be Continued… When Ingrads stops talking)