Archive for January, 2010

The Break Up

January 31, 2010

I know it is really difficult for a lot of dudes to dump their girlfriends. I know that this certain feeling called “guilt” comes in the way of telling her that you are not that interested in her anymore. This is exactly why I have come up with a play book to manipulate your girlfriend into dumping you, so that you don’t have to go through the painful process of “Telling her the truth” and at the end of it all, you are FREE…….

1.  THE HARRY:

Dude: We need to talk.

Chic: Okay, what is it.

Dude:How could you go out for dinner/bowling/coffee/lunch/funeral with those people. I am your boyfriend, you should be doing all those things with me only. EXCLUSIVELY

Chic: Honey… I need a break. This isn’t working for us.

And You are Free…………….

2. THE DJ:

Dude: Can I borrow your credit card. I need to subscribe to this very important technical magazine. My credit card is maxed out, I’ll pay you back

Chic: Okay.

This is when you subscribe to the most expensive  PORN (get creative, use your imagination. You can even subscribe to some Grandma porn or a bestiality magazine). Make sure she finds out, what it is that you are buying with her credit card and when she finds out, YOU ARE FREE…….

3. THE DFT:

Dude: I’m not sure if I love you, or I’m just physically attracted to you..

4. THE VC:

This trick was actually pulled out by a chic, but it still works

1. Make out with a totally random girl you met at a bar

2. Have a gtalk conversation with one of your friends about it

3. Share your password with your girlfriend or better even, accidentally forward the transcript of the conversation to your girlfriend, instead of another friend with a similar name. Gmail auto complete is a bitch

4. When she confronts you, tell her it was a stupid drunk mistake and you just do these things when you are drunk, and it is totally her fault that she  didn’t go drinking with you.

Needless to say, YOU ARE FREE

These plays are sure to work even though they have been tried a million times. Women somehow haven’t developed an immunity to these tricks. For more elaborate plays on how to dump your girlfriend, send me an email.

The End

January 16, 2010

It was her wedding night. He had to be there, even though he wished he was in any of the million other places which didn’t involve watching her get married to another man.

He met her just before the wedding. She was dressed in a beautiful white saree and wore a dazzling diamond necklace around her neck. “Beautiful” he said to himself, as he caught one last glimse of her. He scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it over to her and walked away with a smile.

She opened the note and read it. It said,

“This is the end of a chapter in your book and the big ending of my movie…Make it beautiful”

Protected: Many Idiots(Part 1)

January 9, 2010

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