Archive for August, 2010

10 things of the narcissist

August 30, 2010

I got tagged by Sneo to confess 10 things about me. This is kinda tricky because I might have to confess 30 things about me, DFT and Ingrads. Here are the details of the tag

* Tell your readers 10 things about you that they may or may not know, but are true..
*  Tag 10 people with the award, and be sure to let them know they’ve been tagged (a quick comment on their blog will do).
*  Link back to the blogger who tagged you.

1. I love Cheerios. When I miss breakfast, I eat Cheerios for dinner.

2. I use “Abbey” a lot. Most of my sentences start with “Abbey…..”

3. I eat a lot of junk food

4. I like the freezing Minnesotan weather.

5. I cannot keep secrets.

6. I workout quite a bit. A lot of cardio goes into burning all the junk that I eat.

7. I get bored easily. I’m actually bored right now.

8. I am not good at saving money. I spend every penny I earn.

9. I can be very sarcastic at times. I know a few people who would love to see me dead, or at least in a lot of pain.

10. There is only one person on this planet who knows everything about me.

Ending this tag here. I don’t know a lot of people who blog.

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Honesty

August 30, 2010

Honesty is highly overrated. People don’t want to hear the truth, they are just looking for someone to reaffirm their faith. You cannot go to a creationist and talk to him about evolution. I once talked to a guy about fossil evidence and he said that there is no proof to say that the dinosaur actually lived 65 million years ago, and radio carbon dating might be way off. He even argued that the average life span of people has decreased in the recent years because of the increase in the number of non believers. His grandmother apparently lived for a 120 years because she believed in God and prayed everyday. It didn’t matter to him, that the average life expectancy in those days was 7 years or less. He wouldn’t even accept that vestigial organs like the appendix or  wisdom teeth as evidence.

Having said that, It appears to me that creationists aren’t the only ones living in denial. A friend of mine recently got into a relationship and her guy wanted to know everything about her exes. She said, she was not ready to discuss it yet and when she is, she will tell him everything he needs to know. I don’t know how much she told him, but in my opinion, all he needs to know is that, there were a few men before him, and it doesn’t matter now. I follow a simple rule with my relationships. When my girlfriend asks me how many bases I have covered with my ex, it is always “One less” than the number of bases I have covered with her. That is usually the answer that they want to listen. It might not be the truth, but it is better to lie and be in a relationship, than give out the truth and stay single.

The truth hurts. I learnt that the hard way. If all the people in my university found out, what I really think of them, it would kill them. This is after I have openly insulted a few of them. I find it easy to be honest in emails, because I cannot see the rage on the other person’s face, but when I’m talking to them in person, I prefer to keep it low. A friend of mine interpreted my silence as lack of a valid argument. I kept quiet and reaffirmed his faith.

A friend of mine kept two business cards. One of them said he was a business analyst at a multinational company and the other one said he was an author for a world famous travel guide. He carried both of them in his pocket, when he went to bars to pick up girls and decided which card to play, based on the girl. The truth is that, he quit the multinational company a while ago and he hadn’t published anything for ages. He wasn’t lying about what he did. He did both those things, but right now he is just an unemployed writer with no money to travel. He can never pick up any girl by telling them the truth.

What would you prefer as your facebook profile? A picture of you, with the hottest women, which makes your friends think you are a player, or a picture of you standing next to your fat wife. I’m sure a lot of you will say that love has got nothing to do with the physical appearance and criticize me for being superficial,but what you are doing here is lying to your self that you actually love your super fat wife. If you know what is good for you, you will never admit the truth.

How many of you guys will admit the truth, when your girl friend asks you “What are you looking at?” Even though she is your girlfriend and you are allowed to check out her cleavage or figure, your answer will always be “Your Eyes”. If you ask your girlfriend if she thinks you are “better than” the other guy, her answer will always be a big “Yes”. Trust me, you don’t want your girlfriend telling you that she has seen something better before.

Lie to me my friends, lie to your husbands and your wives. They are good people. They don’t deserve the truth.

War of Words

August 11, 2010

I have recently been accused of being “Unnecessarily Harsh” on online forums. A man accused me of calling other people stupid and senseless beings. In my defense.. I want to say, “Well, atleast I provide comic relief for the readers”. The same person also accused me of “not being funny”, which ticked me off a lot. I had formulated a really long reply email, but I didn’t post it because people begged me not to prolong the debate any further. I am still going to post it here, because I think it is a good read.

@xxx:

What is the source of this aggression? The person who was the target of the joke is probably laughing right now, while you are here attacking me for a ridiculous joke. Did I strike a nerve here? Did the mildly insulting joke, bring back childhood memories? Were you bullied by a little girl when you were a kid? Are you now married to that girl? Were you the subject of all the jokes in your family/friend circle?

THAT, my dear xxx is called, being mean. What i typed on the forum, was a joke…

Having said that.. I would like to quote Scott Adams’ statement “Stupidity is not an all encompassing 24 hour phenomenon. It is a condition that people slip into from time to time. Life is just too complicated to be smart all the time”

Everybody makes stupid mistakes. If you don’t believe me, take a look at the list of your ex girlfriends (Oops!, I just realized that this example might not be applicable to you. Look at this way, think about all those stupid women who overlooked you and married other stupid men, THE result of which, you are currently married to your childhood bully ). Our stupidity defines us. How can you take offense when someone calls you stupid? Stupid mistakes which are overlooked become habits. The ones which are pointed out, make valuable life lessons.

There are different degrees of stupidity and so, there are degrees of punishments

1. Mild Stupidity:

The question posted by the originator of this thread, is an example of mild stupidity. This is usually punishable by a mildly insulting joke, which is what I posted in reply

2. Moderate Stupidity:

A slightly more serious form of stupidity. Ex: Engaging in a war of words with you.

This is usually punishable by emails and phone calls from friends and other members of the forum, asking me to SHUT UP. This email, is a desperate attempt to clean up my mess

3. Extreme stupidity:

This is usually punishable by death. Examples of this include, driving under influence, falling on a rusty nail and reading this email till the end.

I like cracking jokes, that habit is a result of never encountering a person like you, ever. I was in a great dilemma as to, whether to send this reply to everyone on the list, or just to you, but I decided that, this could be a good read for other comically challenged engineers, which is why I’m posting it on the forum.

Yours Truly

Ingrads

fables and fairy tales

August 1, 2010

There was once a man, who was trying to save a scorpion from drowning in a lake. Every time, he would pick it up with his hands, the scorpion would sting him and he would let go of it, dropping it into the lake again. A passerby walked up to him and said, “You moron, that is a scorpion, that is it’s trait. It stings people”. The man replied, “My point exactly, if a scorpion cannot let go of its trait, because it is drowning, why should I, being a human being, let go of my trait of helping other living beings.” He was another  Saint in the making, but we didn’t hear much about him, because he died of  scorpion venom that day.

Moral of the story: Kindness isn’t everything, pick up a scorpion with a stick, or a net. Don’t use your hands, use your head